Even Your Darkness
by Danni1989
Summary: Written for the A2A Exchange on LiveJournal. When no one else suggests anything to do for Christmas, Elena suggests they do a holiday murder mystery train. When Damon disappears partly through Elena goes to find him.


**This was written for the A2A Christmas Exchange on LiveJournal for a prompt written by tamilnadu09. I really hope you enjoy it.**

 **Prompt:** **No one in the scooby gang has any christmas plans for one reason or another so Elena drags everyone onto a Murder Mystery Train (they can be vampires or humans, whatever fits the story best). Everyone is grumbling and reluctant- especially Damon- but the others eventually get really INTO it. Except for Damon, who wanders off in the middle of the whole mystery thing. Elena notices he's gone and they end up in a secluded part of the train by themselves. Here they can either have a heartfelt conversation about why he dislikes Christmas, or...other hijinks can ensue ;)**

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"What are we doing for Christmas?" I asked finally less than a week before the holiday.

"I don't know. Nobody ever suggests anything and no one likes my idea." Caroline whined from her perch on Stefan's lap.

"Not our fault no one wants to go to the Christmas fashion show thing that you organized at Whitmore. The only thing that could make that tolerable is endless amounts of bourbon." Damon responded.

"Then why don't you suggest something." She bit back with a pout.

"Nah, I'd rather we just skip the holiday entirely." Damon said back.

"Well I had an idea if anyone wants to hear it." I said and Caroline shrugged and Damon didn't respond at all besides pull me against him tighter.

"Sure, lets hear it." Stefan told me and I smiled that at least someone wanted to do something.

"Well there is a Christmas murder mystery train dinner thing happening on Christmas Eve. I thought it could be fun. There are still tickets available. We could ask Bonnie and Matt to come along too." I suggested.

"You don't deal with murder on Christmas, number 1. Number 2, it's lame." Caroline argued.

"I kind of agree with Care, except in nicer terms. I don't think its lame, I think it would be a lot of fun any other time than Christmas." Stefan cut in.

"We deal with murder every day of the week pretty much. Why would we want to on Christmas too?" Caroline argued.

"Damon, what do you think?" I asked him.

"I would rather spend Christmas with my bourbon and you. I don't particularly want to do anything, but I'll do whatever you want me to." He told me and I sighed. Someone finally came up with an idea and no one appreciated it.

"Fine, someone come up with an idea that actually has us doing something, instead of sitting here sulking around." I said pissed off now. I pulled myself free from Damon and walked into the kitchen to start on the dishes that were piling up. I started running the water and added some soap before I felt two familiar arms wrap around me tightly from behind.

"Do you really want to do this?" He asked me and I sighed.

"I want to do something, and I've wanted to do a murder mystery train for a long time. I think it would be a lot of fun, and this was the first one I've found that still has tickets available. But no one else wants to so it's a moot point." I told him disappointed.

"I know I don't want to go, but my need for you to be happy far surpasses my need to sit Christmas out. So, if you want to go, I promise right now that everyone will be going." He said before pressing a kiss to the side of my head.

"Don't make a big deal out of it, but I appreciate you trying." I said resting my head against his chest. He kissed me once more before returning to the living room. I started washing the dishes but I heard him tell Caroline and Stefan that we were doing the murder mystery train whether they wanted to or not and that he was booking the tickets immediately.

"Thanks for hijacking our Christmas." Caroline pouted as we boarded the train to find our seats.

"Your welcome. By now you should know that keeping my girl happy is the most important thing to me. Even though I too am not happy about being here." Damon told her and I shook my head.

"You guys all could have stayed home and I could have come alone." I told them as I sat down.

"Hey, I'm happy to be here. You got me out of working tonight." Matt told me and I smiled appreciatively at him.

"Me too, I probably wouldn't have been doing anything tonight, so thanks." Bonnie told me and I had to smile. When the show started Caroline's brain immediately started racing as she tried to figure out who was the killer. The train had show themed food and drinks and everything was amazing. Stefan was following Caroline's lead trying to figure everything out. Matt and Bonnie were playing along as well and having lots of fun. The only person not enjoying himself was Damon, but I already figured that would be the case. Damon didn't enjoy Christmas festivities of any kind, even in the form of a murder mystery. I'd never asked him why in all the years I'd known him, figuring that even after we began dating it was still his business.

"Oh my God it's totally the wife. The wife totally did it." Caroline exclaimed only loud enough for our table to hear.

"Where did you get that from? What logical basis is there to it being the wife?" Stefan asked and I echoed his sentiment.

"It's always the wife, you guys. Haven't you ever watched any of those murder shows?" She asked and we all laughed. She was getting into it even more than anyone else was, which shocked me and didn't in equal measure. I'd known she would love this once she got here. This was totally a Caroline thing in so many ways.

"Where did Damon go?" Bonnie asked from the other side of the table and I looked over to find his seat empty. I hadn't even seen him leave. I sighed and stood up.

"I'll go find him." I told her as I began walking through the train. He was a vampire which meant he could have gotten anywhere super fast. I didn't think he would leave the train without me, but that didn't mean he wasn't sulking in some dark corner somewhere. When he wasn't in any of the cars I went to, I kept looking going further down the train. When I got to the end, there was one final door, so I slipped inside when the cast troupe was occupied and turned my phone flashlight on.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked when I saw him staring out the window at the back of the train.

"I needed to get away. You should go back and enjoy the show." He told me so I shook my head and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind.

"Why don't you like Christmas? You're always like this, this time of year." I asked him pressing a kiss to the center of his back.

"I don't deserve Christmas. I don't deserve this sense of family, I don't deserve to have fun. I deserve to be miserable this time of year." He told me and I tightened my hold on him.

"Everyone deserves to be happy. Why wouldn't you?" I asked.

"You don't know all the things I've done." He whispered.

"I don't need to. The things you've done would never earn you misery every Christmas for the rest of your life." I argued.

"Yeah it does." He replied.

"What could you have possibly done to deserve this misery. The man I know now deserves everything good in the world." I told him.

"Only you would think that." He said as he pulled my hands from around him and walked over to the side of the car where he could sit down.

"What happened Damon?" I asked going to sit down with him.

"I killed a lot of people Elena, sometimes that just catches up with you. For me it catches up at Christmas time when I think of the family that missed them, and the things they could have done during the season. I feel remorse when I'm happy at Christmas time and I hate that feeling, so I just try my best not to feel it at all." He told her.

"You deserve to be happy too Damon. You know that you've done bad things but you still should live. You don't need to give up your happiness to pay for mistakes you made a long time ago. If you've been avoiding happiness at Christmas for this long, I'm sure you're paid up." I told him.

"I haven't been doing this for that long. It's only been since we met really. You taught me that I could try to be a good person and it made everything I did come back. I try to hide it from you, but you always see through it." He told me.

"You can let me in. I love everything about you, even your darkness. I can't even begin to tell you why I fell in love with you because by all accounts it should never have happened. But letting myself fall for you was the best decision I ever made. With you my soul found its true other half. I feel complete with you and you wouldn't be you if you hadn't been through all those things that you think ruined you. I love you Damon Salvatore." I told him leaning in towards him. He met me halfway and kissed me like it would be the last time. Within moments I found myself lying down on the cold floor of the railway car with my shirt slowly being bunched up.

"We probably really shouldn't be doing this here." He said pulling away from my lips. I could feel how much he wanted to do this from his position lying on top of me.

"We probably shouldn't but that doesn't mean we have to stop. In this once instance I approve the use of compulsion." I whispered conspiratorially to him.

"I am a damn lucky man, sins and all." He said before returning to kissing me with everything he had. He took his leather jacket off and motioned for me to sit up. "Lay on this. I don't want you getting cold." I did as he said as he peeled off my t-shirt. Damon had a fascination of having me entirely naked whenever we made love, even in public places. I reached behind me and unclasped my bra and lay down on the leather jacket. He didn't like rushing, and he felt like only getting partially undressed constituted rushing.

"You are so damn beautiful." Damon whispered as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

"Kiss me." I ordered before pulling him down on top of me by his jeans.

"We're going to need to get out of our pants at some point. We don't have all night baby." He told me and I agreed and pushed him back. While he was off me I took the chance to unbutton my jeans and slide them down my legs along with my panties. He was back on me within moments, guiding his erection to where we both desperately wanted it.

"Don't make me beg." I pleaded with him and he leaned down to kiss me before pushing inside me in one fluid thrust. He didn't hold still at all to let me get accustomed to him, because there was no need for that. My body accommodated him perfectly. He fit inside me snugly, but oh so comfortably. It was like he fit there perfectly. He started moving at a pace designed to get us both off quick. He had his upper body raised off mine so he didn't crush me, but he bent down enough to kiss me feverishly.

"You feel so damn good." He moaned in my ear and I sighed and dug my nails into his back. I didn't dig them in hard enough to draw blood, just hard enough to leave the crescent shaped marks in his skin. Drawing blood would be sex for another time.

"Faster." I pleaded and he obliged me and picked up his pace slightly. He clearly wasn't willing to fuck me hard this time, rough had a time and a place and it wasn't now after the talk we just had.

"I want to feel you come." He urged me and I was never able to say no to him. With a cry, I let go, he covered my mouth with his to stifle my sounds as I trembled under him. I closed my eyes and rode the waves of my orgasm, only vaguely aware of when he came inside me.

"We should really consider getting back out there." Damon murmured from beside me. My head was on his shoulder and he was stroking my skin softly enough to make me want to go to sleep.

"I suppose. Although I like this so much better." I sighed with a sleepy smile on my face.

"Me too, but eventually the Scooby Gang will come hunting for us and we don't need them finding us like this. They already think we can't keep our hands off each other. No matter how right they are." He whispered and I laughed before sitting up and reaching for my bra which was lying beside us. We redressed quietly before slipping out of the room back into the crowds. I finger brushed my hair to make sure it didn't look like I had just spent the past while having sex even though it would be obvious to anyone.

"Where the hell did you go?" Caroline demanded without turning her head from the scene in front of her.

"We had a good talk about Christmas." I told my best friend hoping she'd leave it at that.

"Well we both know that's not all that happened, but I can't talk about that right now. It's almost over and I want to be the one who wins the prize for predicting the killer." She told us. I laughed and Damon reached over and kissed my cheek before taking my hand in his. I had no idea who the killer was, but I was certain the way I spent the past little while was far more fun.

At the end when the killer was revealed Caroline jumped out of her chair in celebration.

"I was right!" She cheered.

"I see that." Stefan said disappointed. He had predicted that it was the brother of the victim who was the killer. His idea had far more logic than Caroline's but still he lost.

"You guys should listen to me more often. It's always the wife." Caroline bragged.


End file.
